A Prediction

India has started to gear up for the 2014 Elections in May. BJP has announced Narendra Modi as the PM candidate and Congress will announce theirs after the elections, i.e if they win. Now Narendra Modi a.k.a NaMo seems to have a controversial track record with the ugly shadows of the Gujarat riots following him everywhere. Will the country elect him? There are people I know who will feel disgraced to be called Indians if NaMo is elected. And the number of people who want him as the next PM is also overwhelming. The minority community in India has a big role to play in the upcoming elections. India will speak soon.

Following everything that has been in news for the past one year relating to elections, opinions and views from the comment section of various news articles and after a small research of my own, I have a very strong feeling that BJP is going to topple Congress and Modi after all will become the PM of India. This is my prediction.

USA as of today does not want to give Modi a visa because of his alleged roles in the horrific riots that has left many unanswered questions. In 2005, his diplomatic visa was denied and his existing US visa was revoked. I can't wait to see USA's reaction if NaMo wins.

PS - I am not a Modi supporter nor do I support congrASS. As of today the Supreme Court has given  voters right to reject all candidates.

CM during Gujarat Riot

Gujarat Riot Victim

University of Phoenix - Online Writing Assignment

This actually happened, an English professor gave an online assignment to his students.

The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. 

Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached." 

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: 

Rebecca and Gary. 

THE STORY: 

(first paragraph by Rebecca) 

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. 

But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question. 

(second paragraph by Gary) 

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. 

(Rebecca) 

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully. 

(Gary) 

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. 

With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. 

(Rebecca) 

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent. 

(Gary) 

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. " Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" 

(Rebecca) 

Arsehole. 

(Gary) 

B*tch. 

(Rebecca) 

F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!! 

(Gary) 

In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. 

(Teacher ) 

A+ - I really liked this one.

Source: The Internet. Duh!

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

From the minute we are born till the moment we die, we live with a disease that is called life. But it is a wonderful disease. The only one of it's kind. This disease gives you joy, pain laughter, sadness, love, hate and a mixture of other emotions. Lord Shiva besmears ashes on his body from burnt human dead bodies. Because from dust we are born and in dust we end. Thus Hindus follow the tradition of besmearing their forehead with holy ash, which is usually burnt wood (vibuthi) to remind themselves that whoever they are today, tomorrow they will return to ashes. So keep that ego under check.

I am here today, alive and wondering what the purpose of life is? Everywhere I look, there is sadness, might be my state of mind. The more I try to attract positivity, a huge wave of negativity washes over like a massive wave crushing a sand castle. But I've learned to live with it and don't care anymore. People in general appear very annoying to me these days and I want to be left alone. I see people trying to get to the top crushing the one's below them, I see humanity hiding under a veil of ego and false power. I see people who only know to criticise, whatever happened to encouragement? What is the race for? I see people looking down on others. The less fortunate being treated harshly. And by less fortunate, I don't mean the poor. Someone working under you is treated like dirt and nobody wants to stand up to it. I see jealousy, fake smiles and pure hatred. Call me schizophrenic, but I am not imagining things. Why is everyone so status hungry?

Simplicity is dead. In today's society you have to be someone powerful, someone well qualified, someone rich, to be respected. Isn't that the way we are brought up. Study well or you'll end up being a mechanic or a bus driver. Sad. Mother's bragging about their children, "my son got 99.99999% in his boards and admission in the best medical college". Who cares? Really, I don't. Honestly, I think driving a bus is more fun.

After college, you find a job, maybe not of your choice, but something to live on with. You are bound to find some asshat who comes along and brags, "so, this is what you've become now?" and gives you a pathetic look. And it does not end there. Goes on to explain that his son is the chief engineer of the world's greatest company earning on par with Bill Gates and has five passports and permanent residence in all the countries of the world. How should I react? Should I build a shrine for this son and offer rose garlands?

You have to keep performing till you die. For whom? After a lot of deep thinking, I've accepted the harsh realities of life. Sometimes you will have it all, sometimes no matter how hard you try, things won't come your way because it wasn't meant to be. No amount of motivating and philosophical quotes will change the scenario. A lot of people have made compromises to just barely live life whether they like it or not. We hear a lot of success stories. But do you hear failure stories? I know a lot of hard working and dedicated people who never made it to the top.  

Life isn't always fair. And it does not matter. Once you find your zen, everything becomes an illusion. The power, the fame, the respect, the status, the esteem, the honour, the wealth and a billion other things will vanish. In this world it is very difficult to find like minded people. If you find them, don't let them go. But until you find them, we all have to wear that fake mask. The trick in life is to find the one beneath the mask.

My mind will be restless until I find true happiness and my purpose of life here on earth. And if I think true happiness is wealth, fame and power, then I am doomed.

Clairvoyance

There are spirits, good and evil. Then there are also things that have never walked the earth. Hateful demonic forces.

Houses may be haunted, people may be possessed. You're sitting there watching a horror movie, and the folks in the movie keep doing stupid things in spite of knowing something is wrong, for instance, hear a giggling noise at night when you are alone and go out to explore, walk into the basement alone holding nothing but a candle, know that the house is haunted but live in denial. We've seen it all. Here are some signs that tell you "GTFO".

1. If the new house you've moved into is cold at all times, even with the heater fully blown up. It means there is a presence.

2. If you hear strange noises at night like the floor creaking, doors opening and shutting by themselves, check the windows, if it still happens with them closed, something is wrong.

3. If your pets act strange and keep barking at empty spaces, it is only because they see something you cannot. Dogs especially. They might even refuse to enter the house.

4. If you keep getting headaches, back pain, body pain, bruises and don't remember from where, just letting you know that you might be a suitable body for the spirit to possess you.

5. Smell of something rotten comes and goes implies someone was left there for the dead.

6. If a member of the family is acting weird, scratching head at most times, keeping a straight face and gives you the look, you better call a priest.

7. Things catch on fire, objects found in odd places when you know you didn't place them there and the piano plays by itself guarantees the presence of something evil.

8. Evil spirits are manipulative. They make you see things you want to see, raise your curiosity. Don't fall for it. It's a trap.

9. Listen to your senses when you enter a house. If your head feels claustrophobic, something is wrong. The stronger the evil force, the more splitting your headache gets.

10. For heaven's sake, if young kids say they have an imaginary friend, don't take it lightly. They are seeing the dead.

11. Clocks that stop ticking, the feeling of someone watching you, sudden goosebumps for no apparent reason, unusual smells (pleasant and bad), light bulbs blowing, cold spot in just one corner of the room, strange dreams are all signs.

12. An artefact keeps appearing before you to pick up. Maybe a necklace, bracelet, earring. Don't wear it. It might be one of the dead one's and might possess you through it.

13. When you know something is wrong, take action. Don't act like a hero. You'll end up in a mental asylum.

The Kung Fu Panda in me

I've always been interested in martial arts. Right from childhood. Looking back, I've been interested in a lot of things, never made them happen because of the lazy bum I was. So, one fine day I decided to go and join some martial art class, before old age got the best of me. I sat down googling different kinds of martial arts. I always had a fascination for kung fu. All those Jackie Chan movies I'd seen as a child was a huge inspiration. It was very recent that I had read about Bruce Lee and I saw only one movie of his. But what I read made more impact. But I knew right away that one needed a lot of stamina for martial arts and that is exactly what I lacked. To make things worse, I have mild wheezing and carry an inhaler with me at all times. So I found several dojos near my place. Karate, Kung Fu, Kick Boxing and even Muay Thai. I was tempted to join Muay Thai classes, after all I had seen Tony Jaa's 'Ong Bak' a zillion times. Okay, some exaggeration here. But I seriously saw that movie a lot of times, and I kept watching the fight scenes on YouTube. 

Shortlisting just one dojo (because it was a stone throw away from home), I visited to see what it was all about. I kind of got excited because I sort of took some initiative to learn something useful. So I enter this place and seat myself at the isolated reception area. A class was in session and the door was closed. And I hear all sorts of noises from inside. After a while, several kids step out, some of them who are barely the same height as my knees. Looking cute in their uniform (karategi), full of energy after their class. Then comes the instructor who will be my sensei. I tell him I need to join and he explains to me what they offer, fees and timings. I find myself in a dilemma. Kung fu or karate? I always found kung fu more fascinating. I asked him the difference as he was a trained Black Belt in both. He told me kung fu is more of animal stances and both are actually kind of similar and have their own style and glamour. I was still thinking and my mouth somehow decided to utter 'Karate'. 

So I fill out the form and am ready to join classes right away. I get given a new uniform and a white belt. Boy, that was exciting! I wore it and looked at myself in the mirror. Finally. That's a lot of achievement for today!

A class usually lasts one hour and the first day literally killed me (exaggeration again). The first 30 minutes is more of rigorous fitness exercises and warm up. Jumping jacks, ab crunches, bicycle crunches, wall sits, high knee jumps, bouncing, squats, leg lifts, leg splits and more. When I was asked to do push-ups, the maximum I could do was three and I fell flat on the ground. And when I thought it was all over, knuckle push ups and more sit ups. I was happy I didn't join the Army after all.  Military boot camp would have killed me. Completely out of breath, I found a little motivation somewhere to complete the exercises. After the class, I realised it had been ages since I had actually had a good sweat. Before leaving for the day, the sensei asked me not to quit just after one class and come again. A lot of people do that, a lot of people just attend the first class and are never heard of again. Partly because it is exhausting and one thinks 'this is not meant for me'. But I was told, stamina will increase gradually if I keep attending regularly. And yes, it turned out to be true.

Even though I dread the first 30 minutes today, I find the second half very interesting. Getting to learn various punches, blocks, kicks and katas (forms of patterns and moves) is very enthralling and I find myself very enthusiastic to learn more. I also have to memorise many commands in Japanese which kind of takes a monent to set in before I execute it. But I have to be patient. I look at others with a higher belt and I'm like, 'Wow, that's cool, when will I learn to do that?'. But patience and practice is they key. I can't get the easy moves correctly most of the time and keep puffing and panting. Slowly slowly, I'm picking it up. After two months of classes, I had a test for the next belt and I passed with good grades! I find myself doing more push ups at a stretch! That's something for me at least!

I learn the 'shotokan' style of karate. Interestingly, my dad when he was my age, learned the same form, but gave up after three belts. 'Shoto' means "pine waves" i.e the movement of pine needles when the wind blows through them. 'Kan' means a "house" or "hall". Shotokan was founded by Gichin Funakoshi (1868-1957) and his son Gigo Yoshitaka Funakoshi (1906-1945). It was developed from various other martial arts and is quite famous. Infact Hollywood stars like Jean-Claude Van Damme and Wesley Snipes are all black belts under Shotokan.

Unfortunately, I will be moving to a different country soon and my classes will have to cease then. But I'm hoping to join new classes wherever I am and keep rolling with the punches!

Calvin speaks my mind

How to Obtain Driving License in UAE

For those who are applying for a driving license in the UAE, here is a small note on what you have to go through. Before I got my license, I asked a lot of people on what the procedure is and how is the test given etc, I got various answers, I give you a detailed report of where to start and how to successfully obtain your license.

I live in Abu Dhabi, so I had to open a file first in the Traffic and Licensing Department (Muroor). You need to go for an eye test and once you pass that, you open a file, pay 800 AED and you get a card, which you will use as a permit for learning to drive. You can opt for a manual or automatic car. Better to opt for a manual one.

If you already have an existing driving license from another country, then before you open a file, get it translated to Arabic from a typing centre by submitting your original DL and passport copy. Once you get the papers, you can submit it when you open a file.

Once you get the learner's card, go to Emirates Driving Company (Musaffah) and enroll for theory classes. You need to attend five classes and attendance is a must. You will be taught road rules and some sessions of safety lessons will be done. When you finish, you will have to apply for a theory test date. The test lasts 45 minutes with multiple choice questions and results are announced once you finish the test.

If you pass, you can proceed to the next step. If you fail, you have to attend a few classes again.

Now there are two things. One, if you have a valid DL from another country, you can apply for a direct road test. You will be given a test date and one chance. If you pass, you obtain a driving license. If you fail, you have to learn driving from the beginning. Which means you start fresh and spend a lot of money. The second one is, those who don't have a DL and don't know driving, will enroll and learn practical lessons from basics after their theory test.

Remember that if you fail that one chance road test, you have to learn from basics. Now this basic includes parking, reverse parking, bridge, learning how to drive etc. And there is a test for each part. You have a parking test which you need to pass, then a bridge test and then finally the road test. You get three chances. 

Now I had an Indian DL, so after my theory test, which I passed in the first attempt (37/45) where 36 is pass mark, I applied for a direct road test (one chance). The test date is usually given after one month. If you are lucky, you might get it earlier. So you have plenty of time to practice driving before the test. You need to contact a driving instructor, available in plenty. They are usually parked outside the driving company. You can take lessons from them, just to get a feel of driving on the road and familiarising yourself with the rules. 

I feel it is mandatory that you learn driving from an instructor because you don't want to ruin that one chance. Usually you pay upto 60-70 AED for an hour's driving. I took two hours of driving everyday for one week. They take you on the same roads where the test will be usually given. Roundabouts are galore here. Learn all the rules and practice as much as you can. This is your preparation for the final test.

On the day of the road test, arrive early at the driving company, take a token and get yourself registered. Make sure you carry your test paper. You will be marked on this paper. A bus will be allotted where you will be seated with 20-30 other applicants. The police inspector will call your names and do a final check and then you are ready to go. A car will go in front of the bus, where one by one, you will be called to give the test. 

When your turn comes, be confident. The car will be parked on the side of the road with engine running. There will be two inspectors in the car, front and rear. Sit, adjust seat, check rear mirror, adjust if necessary. You have to hold it in such a way that your fingers don't touch mirror (the driving instructor will tell you about this). Wear seatbelt. Put first gear, release handbrake, turn indicator on and go. Drive confidently. Most importantly, keep checking the rear mirrors. The inspector in the rear is placed just to see if you are checking all three mirrors. 

One chance. I passed in my first attempt. Driving confidently is the key. Follow the rules, use indicators, use the lane rules properly and you are sure to pass. Results will be marked immediately. If you pass, you can take the paper to the police station and get your license. Of course I was nervous, but I was humming Eminem's 'Lose Yourself' song in my head. For some motivation!

Don't get disheartened if you fail. You will have to go back and learn from the beginning. There will be a pre evaluation test and then you will be given practical lessons. The only drawback is that it is time consuming and you have to wait months and pass several other tests (parking and bridge) before the final road test date is announced. Don't give up. Just keep trying. If I could do it, so can you. 

After getting your license, be sure to drive safe. You have to be very careful for the first six months. Accidents will get you black points and they may lead to your DL being cancelled. So, be patient while you drive and be safe. 

Good Luck to all waiting for the road test.