My grandfather was quite an eccentric man. He was full of stories
and I was very fond of him. He was a lepidoterologist, someone who studies
butterflies and he spent a lot of his time in a butterfly farm. He would sit
for hours and stare at these exotic insects. "You know, butterflies were
actually called flutterby", he would say filling his pipe with tobacco. He
called me Nehu, a more affectionate form of my name, Neha. I was his favourite
grandchild too, also because I was the only girl child in the family. I had two
elder brothers and my cousins were all males too. My grandfather fought a lot
for my rights. His wife expired when she was in her 40's. He wanted me to study
and get a good job, go abroad and was against marriage at an early age. It is
quite surprising for someone from an older generation to have this
ideology. My own parents were narrow minded, not my grandfather, he was a very
practical man.
He died a month ago, he was hospitalised as he had complained of
chest pain. When I went to visit him, things had turned worse, he was losing
memory and his pulse was dropping. He smiled slightly as he saw me. I was in
tears, he motioned for me to come closer and whispered in a frail voice,
"Remember, butterflies taste with their feet", he let out a faint
chuckle. My grandfather told me a lot of facts. Mostly of how he served the
British Army in WWII but they were also other random things. But this was out
of the ordinary. He struggled to tell me this as if it was very important.
Seemed as if he was waiting for me to tell this. He died in a matter of minutes
after my visit. Those were also his last words. He had lived for 80 long
years.
His death depressed me a lot. I was already battling depression
because I had finished my higher studies and was looking for a job. My degree
in engineering seemed futile. I had been job hunting for over an year now To
make things worse, my parents were looking for a boy and trying to get me
married. This is the plight of any Indian girl my age, and to be frank, 25 is
too young to get married. I missed my grandfather, he would disagree with my
parents and would have stood by me. I did not want to get married to someone my
parents chose and end up a housewife.
His death was just the beginning of strange things to happen. It
must have been two weeks after his death, I was returning home from an
interview which my parents knew nothing of. I was waiting for the bus when I
got a call from an unknown number. "Hello, this is Amitabh Bachan from
Kaun Banega Crorepati" said the familiar voice. I was perplexed. "Oh,
Hello, Oh my God, hello...how are you Sir?" I stammered. "I'm doing
great Miss Neha, your friend, Nitu is on the hot seat with me and she is on her
last life line. She is one question away from winning One crore Rupees! The
next voice you will hear is Nitu's, you have 30 seconds, good luck!" he
said. My bus came, I walked away one hand holding the phone tightly to my ear
and the other plugging my other ear. "Neha", came Nitu's voice,
"Where do butterflies have their taste sensors? A. Tongue, B. Proboscis,
C. Wings, D. Feet." Before she could repeat the question, I knew the
answer. " D. Feet, It's the feet!" I replied. Nitu was repeating her
question again, apparently she was too nervous and did not hear me. "Feet,
feet", I screamed. "Are you sure?" came her voice and with that
the call snapped. I just stood there still holding the phone. Some curious
bystanders were looking at me, after all I was screaming into the phone. I
waited for my bus, my heart beating fast. I was hoping she answered correctly,
Nitu had informed me about her selection last week. I never knew she had made
it to the hot seat.
What came to mind immediately was the hospital scene. My
grandfather. Was this a coincidence? I had a million questions in my head. My
bus arrived and I boarded it. I called my friends and let them know about Nitu.
I was waiting for her to call. I reached home and told my parents. They were
surprised too. My phone rang, it was Nitu. "Hello" I said, "I
won, I won Neha. Oh my God, I won!!!" she screamed. That was a night to
remember.
The next morning, my inbox was flooded with Nitu's messages. She
could not stop thanking me. She came home in the afternoon with some Gulab
jamuns. She gave me an anaconda hug and started to describe the whole event. I
was happy for her and she was on cloud nine. I couldn't stop thinking of my
grandfather. If not for him, I would not have known the answer. Somethings in
life don't have an explanation.
Three weeks would have passed. A cold war was on at home, I was
not speaking to my parents due to their constant compulsion to get married.
An argument led to a fight. I was fighting the urge to run away from
home. Truth is I had nowhere to go. At least not until I got a job. Nitu's
arrival one morning kind of defused the situation. She was beaming with a huge
smile on her face. "Neha, I have a surprise for you, come out with me"
she said. For a moment I thought she got me a job. A good job offer or an
interview. I had not heard back from my gazillion interviews. None were
successful. "What is it Nitu?", I asked. "I have a little
something for you, a token of gratitude!", she replied. I followed her to
the porch. On my parking spot was standing a brand new car, decorated with a
ribbon and a bouquet. It was a 'Tata Nano'. "Nitu, your new car! wow!
looks stunning" I said. "No, dum dum, not my car. It's for you"
she replied laughing. "What??” I was shocked. “Why? You shouldn't
have" I said feeling a bit uneasy. "Shut up Neha" she said,
"I owe you at least this much". She gave me a hug and my parents
arrived to look. They were talking with Nitu telling her it was unnecessary.
But Nitu was stubborn, she insisted it was out of her happiness and said we had
to accept it no matter what. I stood there not knowing what to do. It was
an awkward situation. Had I really done anything to deserve this?
"Come lets go for a ride, here are the keys" she said. I just wanted
her to be happy and obliged. We drove around our colony and parked at a coffee
shop. I tried to convince her to take the car back, she wouldn't listen. I gave
up and we talked for hours.
A month or two slipped away. So now I had a car for myself, thanks
to Nitu. My family already owned a Ford and now parking got a bit more cramped in our porch. My happiness was short lived. My parents were leaving photos of
eligible grooms on my bed now. We were still not on talking terms. All my
interviews yielded with a negative result and I was getting fed up with life.
If this continued, I would eventually get married and sulk for the rest of my
life. I thought of my grandfather. "Women need to be empowered. My Nehu
will work and be independent", he would say. I shed a silent tear and
tried to read a book but could not focus. Later in the evening, a friend of
mine urged me to go out with her for a movie. I agreed. After some shopping and
a movie, I dropped my friend where she lived and was on the way back home. It
was after nine and the streets were getting emptier. Then it happened.
I was entering the main road from a cut road turning right, my
signal was green. I did not see the speeding car approach, the car jumped the
red signal at high speed and headed straight for me. I turned my head just in
time to see it coming and right away I stepped on the gas. Too late. The impact
was unavoidable. I closed my eyes, I heard a loud crash, the shattering of
glass and I remember my body being thrown to the other side. I lost
my consciousness.
I woke up in the hospital. My left leg was in a cast. My left
shoulder was bandaged and the arm in a sling. I had a dislocated shoulder,
fractured arm and a fractured leg. The doctors had inserted a steel rod in my leg
which they said they would remove once the bones healed. Luckily my head
suffered only minor bruises. I learnt what happened. The speeding car collided
just inches away from the driver seat hitting the rear passenger door, because
I had stepped up on the gas, the impact threw me from my seat to the other end
of the car. My car swiveled and stopped in the middle of the intersection badly
damaged. The speeding car after colliding with mine, did not stop until it hit
the signal post. The sole occupant of the car died. His head hit the steering
wheel killing him on the spot. People who witnessed the event said I was lucky
to be alive.
Another month passed. I was on complete bed rest. Mom and dad did
not mention a word about marriage. Nitu visited me often and was always in
tears. She felt guilty. I consoled her telling her it was not her fault until
one day I got fed up and screamed at her, "You are not responsible Nitu, I
was driving. Now don't ever raise this topic again". The screaming seemed
to have some effect on her. A few more weeks passed, I was healing well and the
doctor said I would be ready in a month or so. The cast on my leg remained. My
damaged car was beyond repair, it was sent for scrap and the insurance money
was claimed.
Hope came in the form of a telephone call. I was asked to attend
an interview the following week. I lost count of how many interviews I had
attended. Some companies never returned a call, some sent me a letter saying I
was not selected and wished me luck. Some sent a letter saying I was
unsuccessful but said they had saved my application in the database in case a
similar opportunity arises in the future. I prepared hard for my upcoming interview,
my first after the accident. The post was not quite relevant to what I had
studied, but with some training, I could still do it.
The day came, I boarded a taxi my dad had arranged. With crutches
and a cast I was slow to get in. Clearly my dad was unhappy with me attending
this interview, but he didn't show. Maybe because he thought this attempt too
would be in vain.
There were quite a few candidates waiting. My turn came and I
slowly walked with crutches in one hand a folder in the other. There were two
people sitting behind a desk browsing through papers. The usual formal greeting
took place and I took a seat. They introduced themselves, one was the Chief HR
Officer and the other was the COO himself. They asked me nothing about my leg.
Were they too busy too notice? They went straight to some questions, asked me a
little about my background, work experience, which I had none except for an
internship I had done in the US. After taking notes and shuffling through
papers the HR person spoke, "You know your CV is slightly off for this
kind of a job". That exact minute, I lost all hope. But I still went on,
"Sir, I believe some training will seriously help me get on track".
The COO cut me off with another question, "What happened to you leg?"
he asked. I told them everything, keeping it as brief as possible. Both men
looked at each other. The COO's eyes were watery and looked as if he was about
to cry. The other guy, patted his back and offered him some tissues. I was
quite surprised. My story is that sad? Well, I'm alive, I mean its not that bad
for a fully grown man to get emotional. The COO spoke, "My son died in
that accident. He was drunk that night, that fateful night claimed his life, I
thank God that the other victim, yourself, was spared".
I had no words. I did not know what to say. "I'm sorry",
I managed to say. The COO was in tears now. The other man was silent just
staring at the desk. He spoke again, "My son made a mistake, you had to
pay. The least I can do is get you a job here, we already have an eligible
candidate, but for once let me ditch company rules and give way to my
conscience. I'm sure we can train you in a couple of months and fit you in. You
can expect an appointment letter soon. All the best". Saying this, he got
up and left the room. The HRO got up and we shook hands. I felt weird. Happy
and sad. Both at the same time. Is that even possible?
When I told my parents they were stunned and in disbelief. Most
parents would have been happy for me. Not mine. Now they had to find a better
groom for me, someone on par with my job. Grandfather would have been so happy.
I missed him the most. My appointment letter arrived after three days. I joined
the following week. My salary was more than that of what my dad and brothers
earned combined. I don't remember feeling happier.
A few months passed. One day at work, during lunch, I was sitting
on the lawn with my colleague eating my home made chapatthi. We were
seriously discussing about an upcoming event that we were supposed to
organise. Suddenly a big butterfly with bright orange wings flew by from
nowhere and sat on my fingers. It just sat there, opened its wings wide, closed
them, opened them again and took off. I stood up and looked for it, trying to
track it, but it was nowhere to be seen.
My grandfather believed in the chaos theory. "It's not a
theory dear, not to me. It's an effect" he had said. "These
butterflies hold keys to all future events that unfold, such beautiful
creatures". The old man who used to sit on a bench, smoking his pipe,
gazing at those butterflies in the farm as if they were telling him something
is no more. All that is left of him are memories. I'm not the only one who misses
him, those butterflies miss him too.
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