Clairvoyance

There are spirits, good and evil. Then there are also things that have never walked the earth. Hateful demonic forces.

Houses may be haunted, people may be possessed. You're sitting there watching a horror movie, and the folks in the movie keep doing stupid things in spite of knowing something is wrong, for instance, hear a giggling noise at night when you are alone and go out to explore, walk into the basement alone holding nothing but a candle, know that the house is haunted but live in denial. We've seen it all. Here are some signs that tell you "GTFO".

1. If the new house you've moved into is cold at all times, even with the heater fully blown up. It means there is a presence.

2. If you hear strange noises at night like the floor creaking, doors opening and shutting by themselves, check the windows, if it still happens with them closed, something is wrong.

3. If your pets act strange and keep barking at empty spaces, it is only because they see something you cannot. Dogs especially. They might even refuse to enter the house.

4. If you keep getting headaches, back pain, body pain, bruises and don't remember from where, just letting you know that you might be a suitable body for the spirit to possess you.

5. Smell of something rotten comes and goes implies someone was left there for the dead.

6. If a member of the family is acting weird, scratching head at most times, keeping a straight face and gives you the look, you better call a priest.

7. Things catch on fire, objects found in odd places when you know you didn't place them there and the piano plays by itself guarantees the presence of something evil.

8. Evil spirits are manipulative. They make you see things you want to see, raise your curiosity. Don't fall for it. It's a trap.

9. Listen to your senses when you enter a house. If your head feels claustrophobic, something is wrong. The stronger the evil force, the more splitting your headache gets.

10. For heaven's sake, if young kids say they have an imaginary friend, don't take it lightly. They are seeing the dead.

11. Clocks that stop ticking, the feeling of someone watching you, sudden goosebumps for no apparent reason, unusual smells (pleasant and bad), light bulbs blowing, cold spot in just one corner of the room, strange dreams are all signs.

12. An artefact keeps appearing before you to pick up. Maybe a necklace, bracelet, earring. Don't wear it. It might be one of the dead one's and might possess you through it.

13. When you know something is wrong, take action. Don't act like a hero. You'll end up in a mental asylum.

The Kung Fu Panda in me

I've always been interested in martial arts. Right from childhood. Looking back, I've been interested in a lot of things, never made them happen because of the lazy bum I was. So, one fine day I decided to go and join some martial art class, before old age got the best of me. I sat down googling different kinds of martial arts. I always had a fascination for kung fu. All those Jackie Chan movies I'd seen as a child was a huge inspiration. It was very recent that I had read about Bruce Lee and I saw only one movie of his. But what I read made more impact. But I knew right away that one needed a lot of stamina for martial arts and that is exactly what I lacked. To make things worse, I have mild wheezing and carry an inhaler with me at all times. So I found several dojos near my place. Karate, Kung Fu, Kick Boxing and even Muay Thai. I was tempted to join Muay Thai classes, after all I had seen Tony Jaa's 'Ong Bak' a zillion times. Okay, some exaggeration here. But I seriously saw that movie a lot of times, and I kept watching the fight scenes on YouTube. 

Shortlisting just one dojo (because it was a stone throw away from home), I visited to see what it was all about. I kind of got excited because I sort of took some initiative to learn something useful. So I enter this place and seat myself at the isolated reception area. A class was in session and the door was closed. And I hear all sorts of noises from inside. After a while, several kids step out, some of them who are barely the same height as my knees. Looking cute in their uniform (karategi), full of energy after their class. Then comes the instructor who will be my sensei. I tell him I need to join and he explains to me what they offer, fees and timings. I find myself in a dilemma. Kung fu or karate? I always found kung fu more fascinating. I asked him the difference as he was a trained Black Belt in both. He told me kung fu is more of animal stances and both are actually kind of similar and have their own style and glamour. I was still thinking and my mouth somehow decided to utter 'Karate'. 

So I fill out the form and am ready to join classes right away. I get given a new uniform and a white belt. Boy, that was exciting! I wore it and looked at myself in the mirror. Finally. That's a lot of achievement for today!

A class usually lasts one hour and the first day literally killed me (exaggeration again). The first 30 minutes is more of rigorous fitness exercises and warm up. Jumping jacks, ab crunches, bicycle crunches, wall sits, high knee jumps, bouncing, squats, leg lifts, leg splits and more. When I was asked to do push-ups, the maximum I could do was three and I fell flat on the ground. And when I thought it was all over, knuckle push ups and more sit ups. I was happy I didn't join the Army after all.  Military boot camp would have killed me. Completely out of breath, I found a little motivation somewhere to complete the exercises. After the class, I realised it had been ages since I had actually had a good sweat. Before leaving for the day, the sensei asked me not to quit just after one class and come again. A lot of people do that, a lot of people just attend the first class and are never heard of again. Partly because it is exhausting and one thinks 'this is not meant for me'. But I was told, stamina will increase gradually if I keep attending regularly. And yes, it turned out to be true.

Even though I dread the first 30 minutes today, I find the second half very interesting. Getting to learn various punches, blocks, kicks and katas (forms of patterns and moves) is very enthralling and I find myself very enthusiastic to learn more. I also have to memorise many commands in Japanese which kind of takes a monent to set in before I execute it. But I have to be patient. I look at others with a higher belt and I'm like, 'Wow, that's cool, when will I learn to do that?'. But patience and practice is they key. I can't get the easy moves correctly most of the time and keep puffing and panting. Slowly slowly, I'm picking it up. After two months of classes, I had a test for the next belt and I passed with good grades! I find myself doing more push ups at a stretch! That's something for me at least!

I learn the 'shotokan' style of karate. Interestingly, my dad when he was my age, learned the same form, but gave up after three belts. 'Shoto' means "pine waves" i.e the movement of pine needles when the wind blows through them. 'Kan' means a "house" or "hall". Shotokan was founded by Gichin Funakoshi (1868-1957) and his son Gigo Yoshitaka Funakoshi (1906-1945). It was developed from various other martial arts and is quite famous. Infact Hollywood stars like Jean-Claude Van Damme and Wesley Snipes are all black belts under Shotokan.

Unfortunately, I will be moving to a different country soon and my classes will have to cease then. But I'm hoping to join new classes wherever I am and keep rolling with the punches!

Calvin speaks my mind

How to Obtain Driving License in UAE

For those who are applying for a driving license in the UAE, here is a small note on what you have to go through. Before I got my license, I asked a lot of people on what the procedure is and how is the test given etc, I got various answers, I give you a detailed report of where to start and how to successfully obtain your license.

I live in Abu Dhabi, so I had to open a file first in the Traffic and Licensing Department (Muroor). You need to go for an eye test and once you pass that, you open a file, pay 800 AED and you get a card, which you will use as a permit for learning to drive. You can opt for a manual or automatic car. Better to opt for a manual one.

If you already have an existing driving license from another country, then before you open a file, get it translated to Arabic from a typing centre by submitting your original DL and passport copy. Once you get the papers, you can submit it when you open a file.

Once you get the learner's card, go to Emirates Driving Company (Musaffah) and enroll for theory classes. You need to attend five classes and attendance is a must. You will be taught road rules and some sessions of safety lessons will be done. When you finish, you will have to apply for a theory test date. The test lasts 45 minutes with multiple choice questions and results are announced once you finish the test.

If you pass, you can proceed to the next step. If you fail, you have to attend a few classes again.

Now there are two things. One, if you have a valid DL from another country, you can apply for a direct road test. You will be given a test date and one chance. If you pass, you obtain a driving license. If you fail, you have to learn driving from the beginning. Which means you start fresh and spend a lot of money. The second one is, those who don't have a DL and don't know driving, will enroll and learn practical lessons from basics after their theory test.

Remember that if you fail that one chance road test, you have to learn from basics. Now this basic includes parking, reverse parking, bridge, learning how to drive etc. And there is a test for each part. You have a parking test which you need to pass, then a bridge test and then finally the road test. You get three chances. 

Now I had an Indian DL, so after my theory test, which I passed in the first attempt (37/45) where 36 is pass mark, I applied for a direct road test (one chance). The test date is usually given after one month. If you are lucky, you might get it earlier. So you have plenty of time to practice driving before the test. You need to contact a driving instructor, available in plenty. They are usually parked outside the driving company. You can take lessons from them, just to get a feel of driving on the road and familiarising yourself with the rules. 

I feel it is mandatory that you learn driving from an instructor because you don't want to ruin that one chance. Usually you pay upto 60-70 AED for an hour's driving. I took two hours of driving everyday for one week. They take you on the same roads where the test will be usually given. Roundabouts are galore here. Learn all the rules and practice as much as you can. This is your preparation for the final test.

On the day of the road test, arrive early at the driving company, take a token and get yourself registered. Make sure you carry your test paper. You will be marked on this paper. A bus will be allotted where you will be seated with 20-30 other applicants. The police inspector will call your names and do a final check and then you are ready to go. A car will go in front of the bus, where one by one, you will be called to give the test. 

When your turn comes, be confident. The car will be parked on the side of the road with engine running. There will be two inspectors in the car, front and rear. Sit, adjust seat, check rear mirror, adjust if necessary. You have to hold it in such a way that your fingers don't touch mirror (the driving instructor will tell you about this). Wear seatbelt. Put first gear, release handbrake, turn indicator on and go. Drive confidently. Most importantly, keep checking the rear mirrors. The inspector in the rear is placed just to see if you are checking all three mirrors. 

One chance. I passed in my first attempt. Driving confidently is the key. Follow the rules, use indicators, use the lane rules properly and you are sure to pass. Results will be marked immediately. If you pass, you can take the paper to the police station and get your license. Of course I was nervous, but I was humming Eminem's 'Lose Yourself' song in my head. For some motivation!

Don't get disheartened if you fail. You will have to go back and learn from the beginning. There will be a pre evaluation test and then you will be given practical lessons. The only drawback is that it is time consuming and you have to wait months and pass several other tests (parking and bridge) before the final road test date is announced. Don't give up. Just keep trying. If I could do it, so can you. 

After getting your license, be sure to drive safe. You have to be very careful for the first six months. Accidents will get you black points and they may lead to your DL being cancelled. So, be patient while you drive and be safe. 

Good Luck to all waiting for the road test.

An absolute crap entry

Here we go again, I think of a topic to write, I think of it for days, 'Oh, that's a wonderful thing to blog about, I should type it down as soon as possible'. Then when I sit down to type, I'm like.... 'No'. 'That's a boring thing to write, does not make sense. It's not that appealing'. And there you go. You get this boring entry of me trying to make sense out of nothing. 

The hormones in my brain are causing my mood to change rapidly. One minute, I am like, 'Oh God, wow!!!' and the next minute, 'yawn'. 

Sometimes I hate people around me. I hate voices. I want silence. Sometimes I want people around me. But that 'want' does not last long. Unpredictable. 

One minute, I am reading a book and things are getting interesting. Then just like that, things get boring. I am pretty sure it's not the book's fault.

Put on a movie to watch, stop it after a few minutes.

I want to eat a juicy Mc Donalds burger with fries and coke. On the way to buy it but stop halfway because I don't crave for it anymore.

I was listening to the playlist on my mobile the other day and thinking, 'I have such crappy songs saved'. Listen to it the next night, I get goosebumps because I'm loving the music.

I want to so write this blog, but I so want to delete this entry.

My blood group is Procrastination Positive.

I'm so excited to do things tomorrow. When tomorrow comes, I know another tomorrow will come. The brain is a scumbag, but yet an amazing thing. 

I am sad that I cannot touch my toes without bending my knees. This worries me a lot. It is my biggest worry in the world as of now. It will change in two minutes, I'm sure.

*After being idle for 3 minutes*

My biggest worry now is to get the charger for this laptop, because the battery is 8%. The charger is in another room. Did I tell you I am also lazy.

In a way it is good. Because I can stop typing, and publish this. Why do I even bother to blog? Voice in head says, "To keep track of your progress". Another voice in head says, "When you're 80 years old with no teeth and all alone, you can read this blog and sob/laugh at the pathetic/fantastic life you had".

WORRY UPDATE:

I seriously don't want to live up to eighty. Forty is ideal.