Out of the Window

Monochrome or not?

No Parking

Zebra Crossing

Will you cry?

I stumbled upon this picture and I was wondering. If I were to die tomorrow, how many people would actually cry? I counted my mom, dad and sister. Some close friends for sure, hardly a handful of them. Then some relatives (I think). When I say cry, I mean actual heart broken crying. Not those temporary tears at a funeral where by the end of the week the thought of my death is no longer in their mind. 

From my calculation, it looks like a very few will be inconsolable and desolated. Damn. Looks like I need to work on my character or maybe I should contribute more to society in such a way that my loss is felt. I wonder what I should do?

Just yesterday I was thinking of the friends I had lost. I had a friend back in high school who died of cancer. He was this brilliant kid in academics and one of the reasons I loved him was because he was the only one of the two guys in class who would talk to me (I was the only non-nerd person in a class full of students aspiring to become doctors). I used to flunk in most of the subjects. But this guy was cool, allowed me to copy from his paper during exams and sang traditional folk songs for me. A huge loss for me when I lost him and his death came as a big blow for me.

While in university, I had another friend who succumbed to epileptic seizure. That was sad as well. I think of these lost friends and the memories I had with them still linger in my thoughts. When a close young relative died recently, in a few months even after accepting the fact that people have to leave one day, my heart suffers when I see the plight of the family struggling. My grandmother expired 3 months ago, I felt bad. I felt worse for my grandfather because of the companionship he had lost.

I don't think I will be able to bear it if anyone close to me leaves their mortal coil. It's like a piece of me going away for ever. I pray that I don't live to see that day. To be loved by one and all is cool, yet a great feat to achieve. So be kind to all and smile more often! One life folks, we have only one.

Motion Sickness

Whoa! The thought itself is making me nauseous. I've had this problem forever and always had a hard time travelling around especially in buses and cars. To kill me, all you have to do is put me in the back seat of a moving vehicle on a long drive. Ughh! The thought is disturbing. This is torture. I can also never read in a moving vehicle. I might end up puking if I try to read something on my mobile or a book for anything more than 10 seconds. My small brain is not built for it. 

But this mechanism in the brain is an amazing thing. Let me tell you! Motion sickness is also called travel sickness. It is that uneasy feeling you get when you are travelling on a ship, bus, plane etc. You tend to get claustrophobic, dizzy, nauseous and experience fatigue. This is because the brain is unable to comprehend the relation between what your eyes see and what your ears, responsible for inner balance, sense. Your inner ear is also responsible for a sense of balance and they detect motion. But as your eyes cannot see motion. This conflict makes you sick.

The brain, the super hero immediately detects that something is wrong and as a defence mechanism against neurotoxins, a part in the brain known as 'area postrema' becomes responsible for inducing vomiting thinking that there is poison in the body, makes sure, it is sent out from the body. But in reality there are no toxins. It is automatically induced when there is a conflict in vision and balance. 

Neurotoxins??? Well, for instance, you are in a ship, your inner ear senses motion. But you can't see movement from your eyes. Your brain thinks that either your eyes or maybe your ears are hallucinating and comes to the conclusion that this hallucination is the result of ingesting poison. Immediately, the brain responds by making you nauseous and so you vomit thereby flushing out the illusionary toxins.

Hats off to the brain!! I know it's helping me, but by putting me through a lot of misery. Because of this, I avoid hill stations and mountains. Unless I am driving of course. There is also a way to get rid of this. You can look out of the window, get fresh air, take a pill to prevent vomiting or get a Rolls Royce and sit in the front seat. 

Mobile Shots

Interesting Museum, I must say!

Doha Corniche

The Principle of Cosmic Order

यदा यदा हि धर्मस्य ग्लानिर्भवति भारत । 
अभ्युत्थानमधर्मस्य तदात्मानं सृजाम्यहम् ॥

परित्राणाय साधूनां विनाशाय च दुष्कृताम् । 

धर्मसंस्थापनार्थाय सम्भवामि युगे युगे ॥

"Whenever and wherever there is a decay in dharma, O descendant of Bharata, and a predominant rise of irreligion--at that time I descend Myself. To deliver the pious, protect the good and to annihilate evil, as well as to re-establish dharma, I Myself appear age after age." 

- Lord Krishna 

Many Hindus are familiar with this verse from the Bhagvad Gita. Basically, it means that the Lord himself will manifest age after age when there is no righteousness left in the world, to protect all the good and destroy all evil.

Commonly known as the 'Kali Yuga' (dark age), Lord Vishnu will take his tenth avatar 'kalki avatar', riding a white horse with a sword, to conquer evil. 

Questions and more questions

What happens when you try hard and don't succeed?

So do you now say that maybe I didn't try hard enough?

Or just dismiss it by saying I wasn't lucky enough?

It wasn't meant for me?

Better things will come?

Why is it that people who deserve to be rich are poor?

Why is it that they barely make money to make both ends meet?

Why is money a problem for some and not for others?

Why are people so judgemental?

Why should I care?

Why do people say "I'm not judging you" and do the very same thing?

Why are people rude?

Why are people pretentious?

Why doesn't anyone smile anymore?

Why am I stuck in the wrong place?

Why does Adobe Reader keep asking me to update it's software?

Why do I ask questions knowing that I won't get answers?

Is there a God?

Do you know for sure?

Is it faith?

How many prayers went unanswered?

The mind does adapt itself to reality, doesn't it?

What will I have for dinner?

Will I wake up tomorrow?

What if today is the last day of my life?

What is life?

Why are we here?

Will you let me know?

Who's out there?

Scottish Shower

When you wake up in the morning, you require so much motivation to get out of the bed. When I wake up and dread the morning, I hit the snooze button and hug my pillow for a little more sleep. But ten minutes is faster than light. Then I drag myself to take a shower and the hot water literally makes me forget the world. I keep telling myself that if I don't get out of the shower, I'm going to run late. But this scumbag brain does not listen. I stay in soaking myself in the hot shower and stay there forever. Now the thing is, hot water actually makes you lazy after a while and the skin gets affected as well. It becomes kind of hard and feels uncomfortable. One hour after the shower and I'm sleepy again. Hot showers weren't helping me actually. I read somewhere that hot showers tend to decrease sperm count and cold shower increases the testosterone production in men which leads to an increase in fertility. Not that I'm worried about this, but if you are are planning to make babies, switch off your heater. (The more you know!!!)

Here is a small tip for those who don't want to feel groggy in the morning. It is difficult to take a shower in ice cold water, no one wants to do that. But what I do is, as I am showering in hot water, I shut it off and turn on ice cold water. This sudden change of temperature makes your heart beat faster and increases respiration rate. I clench my teeth and feel like a Spartan standing under ice cold water. Yes! the Spartan's took freezing ice cold baths to enhance their mental strength and thus prepared their body for war. They felt that hot water was a luxury and for the weak. It actually feels refreshing and you can see for yourself that you are more active when you take a cold shower.

In James Bond novels, the character usually takes a hot shower, then switches to cold. The system of alternating hot and cold showers is called 'Scottish shower'. Mr.Bond learnt this from his ancestors I guess. Oh these Scotts! How surprised was I when I learnt how a kilt is actually worn. Reminds me of frozen meat balls (no pun intended...or maybe a little actually was).

So next time you shower and you want to step out fully recharged, don't fear the cold water tap, turn it on and feel the lightning electrify you. Refresh yourself!

Note: Please bin my advice if you live in the North Pole or South Pole.

Beach

Pebbles

Heard this from a friend. I shall narrate it in first person, as he told me. I know he wasn't making it up. I can assure you that.

This happened when I was in higher secondary, 11th Grade. A school located in a small town, that too on the outskirts. Since we students were hostelites, we used to spend our evenings in the school classrooms studying and there was always a warden present to look over us. Classes were divided by sections and I was in 'C' section. One day around 8pm we were packing and ready to leave for dinner located in a different block. Now the layout of the building is such that the classrooms and the dormitories were opposite to each other and in between there was a huge ground. Picture this. To the north is the dormitory, the south we have the classroom block, to the west is the administrative block and finally we have empty space on the east which leads to some bushes and eventually, the school compound wall. So the three blocks (three storey each) are in a C shape all enclosed within a compound wall.

As I said, that day, we were done with studies and about to leave for our dormitory. The other sections had already left in a line and we were waiting in a queue to disperse. The warden always does a headcount once we reach the dormitory to make sure no one is left behind. The ground in between is huge and it takes a nice 2 minute jog to get to the dorms from the classroom. Usually it is dark where the only light source is illuminated from the tube lights in the building corridors. We always switch off the classroom lights before leaving. Towards the east is pitch black.

Behind the classroom block are the taps for drinking water and it is close to the compound wall. So we were waiting in queue for the warden who had gone to drink water. As we were chitchatting and waiting in line, the warden comes walking from behind the block very furiously screaming at the top of his voice, "who was it?" He had his cane out and was threatening us. "How dare you? You think I don't know? Speak up." he shouted. I had no idea what was going on and was petrified and confused at the same time. From the line he picked out the mischievous lot and started spanking them hard. The students were screaming in pain, rubbing their ass after each spank. I was worried I would receive a beating. The students were begging and asking the warden to stop and said they didn't even know what happened. "Who threw the pebbles on me from top?". Apparently a few pebbles had hit his shoulder when he was drinking water. I was standing among the last in the line and was pretty sure no one had jumped the queue to do something naughty. The warden got fed up and said he'd complain to the principal and walked us to the dormitory.

After dinner in the mess, we headed back to sleep. By now the other boys from different classes came to know what happened and there was hot discussions. Then we went to sleep. The next day, the warden had quite forgotten about it I guess. At least that's what I thought. So after a class, a small break was given at around 11 in the morning. There was this boy who had gone to drink water and he came back to the ground where some teachers were standing and headed towards them. I didn't see this though, as I was in class copying notes. Many students were out on the corridor walking or just standing and talking. This usually happens during a fifteen minute break. This boy had gone to the teachers where our warden was present as well and had complained that someone threw a pebble on him twice. The warden got furious, dragged the boy by his hand and came near our block and screamed at the top of his voice. "Who the hell threw it this time? Answer me." he shouted. There was pin drop silence. I came out to see what it was about. The warden was standing facing our block with this boy by his side. The other teachers (Sirs) were standing watching us. "I dare you to throw a pebble again if you have the guts" he screamed. And as we were standing there quietly, a medium sized pebble came flying from the east side and fell right on his chest and then on the ground. Everyone at that moment looked towards the direction from where it came from. I saw the pebble flying and hit him with my own eyes in broad daylight. There was no one in that direction. Empty ground and further away were bushes. It was impossible to have come from there. But everyone stood in disbelief. As we were the ones facing the boy and the warden, we saw it come and hit him. The warden and other teachers took a few seconds to realise what happened and ran immediately to the bushes. The boy just stood there rubbing his chest. They found nothing.

That day was crazy as hell. This was the discussion among everyone. We were all spooked. There was a graveyard on the west direction right after the compound wall. Students started triggering ghost stories and other scary stuff saying it was something not human. I had no logical explanation as well. Especially after what I saw. I saw from my peripheral vision, where it came from. Yet no one was there. Definitely it's not the wind.

So that evening, after sunset, we all stuck together and no one dared to go out of the classroom or wander alone even to drink water. We queued up at 8pm and walked back to the dorm. We finished dinner and went to bed. That night, at around 2am, we heard a scream. There was a commotion and we heard several footsteps, the lights were switched on and the warden along with the security entered. The same boy who was hit by the pebble was the one who screamed. He claimed that someone threw a pebble on him again! A search was made and needless to say, they found a small stony pebble. I didn't know this boy. But he was no weirdo. Just a regular guy like me. He was panicking. The warden hushed it up and told the boy to come and sleep in the room where he stayed. The warden with three other teachers stayed on the third floor in their private rooms. The dorm was on the second and the mess on the first floor. The security, just a frail looking watchman in his 50's checked the room, closed the window panes and went off.

The security is one braveheart. He fears nothing. I'll tell you why. I say this because, he's the only god damned security for the whole school and he does night shift. Do you realise how brave that is? He is frail, old and carries just one torch and a whistle. Not even a stick. He patrols the whole school which is spread out in acres. He checks each block and classroom after we leave. Who would dare go out in the dark? Not me. Not with a bloody graveyard nearby.

So the boy is taken to the third floor where he would spend the night with three adults keeping watch. We all went back to sleep. I don't know how many minutes or hours passed by. We heard a shattering sound. What had happened was, the boy who was sound asleep in the room with three of our teachers snoring, was hit by this pebble/stone which had penetrated through the glass pane, fell right on this boy. When the lights were switched on, they had found that the broken glass pieces had fallen on the inside which meant that the stone came from outside and they even found the pebble.

I verified this the next day. I saw the broken pane. I saw how a few glass pieces were edged towards the inside of the room. How on earth did a stone come through the window of the third floor. No one human could have thrown it from the ground. And say someone managed to do that, how is it even possible that the stone would break the pane and land exactly on this boy?

This was the talk of the whole school. For one week, we were confused and found no answers. The boy was sent home next day. His parents had come to pick him up. No more pebble incident after that. We never heard of the boy again. Heard he got his transfer certificate and left for a different school.

A few weeks later, I heard from the other boys, something about the braveheart security guy. I don't know if it's true or not. At night during his rounds, it was his regular practice to visit blocks and check. Once late night, when he was in the classroom block's second floor, he happened to shine his torch down on the ground. And as he did, he got glimpses of several pebbles flying in the air, as if it were being thrown from each side, when he tried to find the source, he found nothing.

A Prediction

India has started to gear up for the 2014 Elections in May. BJP has announced Narendra Modi as the PM candidate and Congress will announce theirs after the elections, i.e if they win. Now Narendra Modi a.k.a NaMo seems to have a controversial track record with the ugly shadows of the Gujarat riots following him everywhere. Will the country elect him? There are people I know who will feel disgraced to be called Indians if NaMo is elected. And the number of people who want him as the next PM is also overwhelming. The minority community in India has a big role to play in the upcoming elections. India will speak soon.

Following everything that has been in news for the past one year relating to elections, opinions and views from the comment section of various news articles and after a small research of my own, I have a very strong feeling that BJP is going to topple Congress and Modi after all will become the PM of India. This is my prediction.

USA as of today does not want to give Modi a visa because of his alleged roles in the horrific riots that has left many unanswered questions. In 2005, his diplomatic visa was denied and his existing US visa was revoked. I can't wait to see USA's reaction if NaMo wins.

PS - I am not a Modi supporter nor do I support congrASS. As of today the Supreme Court has given  voters right to reject all candidates.

CM during Gujarat Riot

Gujarat Riot Victim

University of Phoenix - Online Writing Assignment

This actually happened, an English professor gave an online assignment to his students.

The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. 

Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached." 

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: 

Rebecca and Gary. 

THE STORY: 

(first paragraph by Rebecca) 

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. 

But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question. 

(second paragraph by Gary) 

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. 

(Rebecca) 

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully. 

(Gary) 

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. 

With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. 

(Rebecca) 

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent. 

(Gary) 

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. " Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" 

(Rebecca) 

Arsehole. 

(Gary) 

B*tch. 

(Rebecca) 

F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!! 

(Gary) 

In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. 

(Teacher ) 

A+ - I really liked this one.

Source: The Internet. Duh!

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

From the minute we are born till the moment we die, we live with a disease that is called life. But it is a wonderful disease. The only one of it's kind. This disease gives you joy, pain laughter, sadness, love, hate and a mixture of other emotions. Lord Shiva besmears ashes on his body from burnt human dead bodies. Because from dust we are born and in dust we end. Thus Hindus follow the tradition of besmearing their forehead with holy ash, which is usually burnt wood (vibuthi) to remind themselves that whoever they are today, tomorrow they will return to ashes. So keep that ego under check.

I am here today, alive and wondering what the purpose of life is? Everywhere I look, there is sadness, might be my state of mind. The more I try to attract positivity, a huge wave of negativity washes over like a massive wave crushing a sand castle. But I've learned to live with it and don't care anymore. People in general appear very annoying to me these days and I want to be left alone. I see people trying to get to the top crushing the one's below them, I see humanity hiding under a veil of ego and false power. I see people who only know to criticise, whatever happened to encouragement? What is the race for? I see people looking down on others. The less fortunate being treated harshly. And by less fortunate, I don't mean the poor. Someone working under you is treated like dirt and nobody wants to stand up to it. I see jealousy, fake smiles and pure hatred. Call me schizophrenic, but I am not imagining things. Why is everyone so status hungry?

Simplicity is dead. In today's society you have to be someone powerful, someone well qualified, someone rich, to be respected. Isn't that the way we are brought up. Study well or you'll end up being a mechanic or a bus driver. Sad. Mother's bragging about their children, "my son got 99.99999% in his boards and admission in the best medical college". Who cares? Really, I don't. Honestly, I think driving a bus is more fun.

After college, you find a job, maybe not of your choice, but something to live on with. You are bound to find some asshat who comes along and brags, "so, this is what you've become now?" and gives you a pathetic look. And it does not end there. Goes on to explain that his son is the chief engineer of the world's greatest company earning on par with Bill Gates and has five passports and permanent residence in all the countries of the world. How should I react? Should I build a shrine for this son and offer rose garlands?

You have to keep performing till you die. For whom? After a lot of deep thinking, I've accepted the harsh realities of life. Sometimes you will have it all, sometimes no matter how hard you try, things won't come your way because it wasn't meant to be. No amount of motivating and philosophical quotes will change the scenario. A lot of people have made compromises to just barely live life whether they like it or not. We hear a lot of success stories. But do you hear failure stories? I know a lot of hard working and dedicated people who never made it to the top.  

Life isn't always fair. And it does not matter. Once you find your zen, everything becomes an illusion. The power, the fame, the respect, the status, the esteem, the honour, the wealth and a billion other things will vanish. In this world it is very difficult to find like minded people. If you find them, don't let them go. But until you find them, we all have to wear that fake mask. The trick in life is to find the one beneath the mask.

My mind will be restless until I find true happiness and my purpose of life here on earth. And if I think true happiness is wealth, fame and power, then I am doomed.

Clairvoyance

There are spirits, good and evil. Then there are also things that have never walked the earth. Hateful demonic forces.

Houses may be haunted, people may be possessed. You're sitting there watching a horror movie, and the folks in the movie keep doing stupid things in spite of knowing something is wrong, for instance, hear a giggling noise at night when you are alone and go out to explore, walk into the basement alone holding nothing but a candle, know that the house is haunted but live in denial. We've seen it all. Here are some signs that tell you "GTFO".

1. If the new house you've moved into is cold at all times, even with the heater fully blown up. It means there is a presence.

2. If you hear strange noises at night like the floor creaking, doors opening and shutting by themselves, check the windows, if it still happens with them closed, something is wrong.

3. If your pets act strange and keep barking at empty spaces, it is only because they see something you cannot. Dogs especially. They might even refuse to enter the house.

4. If you keep getting headaches, back pain, body pain, bruises and don't remember from where, just letting you know that you might be a suitable body for the spirit to possess you.

5. Smell of something rotten comes and goes implies someone was left there for the dead.

6. If a member of the family is acting weird, scratching head at most times, keeping a straight face and gives you the look, you better call a priest.

7. Things catch on fire, objects found in odd places when you know you didn't place them there and the piano plays by itself guarantees the presence of something evil.

8. Evil spirits are manipulative. They make you see things you want to see, raise your curiosity. Don't fall for it. It's a trap.

9. Listen to your senses when you enter a house. If your head feels claustrophobic, something is wrong. The stronger the evil force, the more splitting your headache gets.

10. For heaven's sake, if young kids say they have an imaginary friend, don't take it lightly. They are seeing the dead.

11. Clocks that stop ticking, the feeling of someone watching you, sudden goosebumps for no apparent reason, unusual smells (pleasant and bad), light bulbs blowing, cold spot in just one corner of the room, strange dreams are all signs.

12. An artefact keeps appearing before you to pick up. Maybe a necklace, bracelet, earring. Don't wear it. It might be one of the dead one's and might possess you through it.

13. When you know something is wrong, take action. Don't act like a hero. You'll end up in a mental asylum.

The Kung Fu Panda in me

I've always been interested in martial arts. Right from childhood. Looking back, I've been interested in a lot of things, never made them happen because of the lazy bum I was. So, one fine day I decided to go and join some martial art class, before old age got the best of me. I sat down googling different kinds of martial arts. I always had a fascination for kung fu. All those Jackie Chan movies I'd seen as a child was a huge inspiration. It was very recent that I had read about Bruce Lee and I saw only one movie of his. But what I read made more impact. But I knew right away that one needed a lot of stamina for martial arts and that is exactly what I lacked. To make things worse, I have mild wheezing and carry an inhaler with me at all times. So I found several dojos near my place. Karate, Kung Fu, Kick Boxing and even Muay Thai. I was tempted to join Muay Thai classes, after all I had seen Tony Jaa's 'Ong Bak' a zillion times. Okay, some exaggeration here. But I seriously saw that movie a lot of times, and I kept watching the fight scenes on YouTube. 

Shortlisting just one dojo (because it was a stone throw away from home), I visited to see what it was all about. I kind of got excited because I sort of took some initiative to learn something useful. So I enter this place and seat myself at the isolated reception area. A class was in session and the door was closed. And I hear all sorts of noises from inside. After a while, several kids step out, some of them who are barely the same height as my knees. Looking cute in their uniform (karategi), full of energy after their class. Then comes the instructor who will be my sensei. I tell him I need to join and he explains to me what they offer, fees and timings. I find myself in a dilemma. Kung fu or karate? I always found kung fu more fascinating. I asked him the difference as he was a trained Black Belt in both. He told me kung fu is more of animal stances and both are actually kind of similar and have their own style and glamour. I was still thinking and my mouth somehow decided to utter 'Karate'. 

So I fill out the form and am ready to join classes right away. I get given a new uniform and a white belt. Boy, that was exciting! I wore it and looked at myself in the mirror. Finally. That's a lot of achievement for today!

A class usually lasts one hour and the first day literally killed me (exaggeration again). The first 30 minutes is more of rigorous fitness exercises and warm up. Jumping jacks, ab crunches, bicycle crunches, wall sits, high knee jumps, bouncing, squats, leg lifts, leg splits and more. When I was asked to do push-ups, the maximum I could do was three and I fell flat on the ground. And when I thought it was all over, knuckle push ups and more sit ups. I was happy I didn't join the Army after all.  Military boot camp would have killed me. Completely out of breath, I found a little motivation somewhere to complete the exercises. After the class, I realised it had been ages since I had actually had a good sweat. Before leaving for the day, the sensei asked me not to quit just after one class and come again. A lot of people do that, a lot of people just attend the first class and are never heard of again. Partly because it is exhausting and one thinks 'this is not meant for me'. But I was told, stamina will increase gradually if I keep attending regularly. And yes, it turned out to be true.

Even though I dread the first 30 minutes today, I find the second half very interesting. Getting to learn various punches, blocks, kicks and katas (forms of patterns and moves) is very enthralling and I find myself very enthusiastic to learn more. I also have to memorise many commands in Japanese which kind of takes a monent to set in before I execute it. But I have to be patient. I look at others with a higher belt and I'm like, 'Wow, that's cool, when will I learn to do that?'. But patience and practice is they key. I can't get the easy moves correctly most of the time and keep puffing and panting. Slowly slowly, I'm picking it up. After two months of classes, I had a test for the next belt and I passed with good grades! I find myself doing more push ups at a stretch! That's something for me at least!

I learn the 'shotokan' style of karate. Interestingly, my dad when he was my age, learned the same form, but gave up after three belts. 'Shoto' means "pine waves" i.e the movement of pine needles when the wind blows through them. 'Kan' means a "house" or "hall". Shotokan was founded by Gichin Funakoshi (1868-1957) and his son Gigo Yoshitaka Funakoshi (1906-1945). It was developed from various other martial arts and is quite famous. Infact Hollywood stars like Jean-Claude Van Damme and Wesley Snipes are all black belts under Shotokan.

Unfortunately, I will be moving to a different country soon and my classes will have to cease then. But I'm hoping to join new classes wherever I am and keep rolling with the punches!

Calvin speaks my mind

How to Obtain Driving License in UAE

For those who are applying for a driving license in the UAE, here is a small note on what you have to go through. Before I got my license, I asked a lot of people on what the procedure is and how is the test given etc, I got various answers, I give you a detailed report of where to start and how to successfully obtain your license.

I live in Abu Dhabi, so I had to open a file first in the Traffic and Licensing Department (Muroor). You need to go for an eye test and once you pass that, you open a file, pay 800 AED and you get a card, which you will use as a permit for learning to drive. You can opt for a manual or automatic car. Better to opt for a manual one.

If you already have an existing driving license from another country, then before you open a file, get it translated to Arabic from a typing centre by submitting your original DL and passport copy. Once you get the papers, you can submit it when you open a file.

Once you get the learner's card, go to Emirates Driving Company (Musaffah) and enroll for theory classes. You need to attend five classes and attendance is a must. You will be taught road rules and some sessions of safety lessons will be done. When you finish, you will have to apply for a theory test date. The test lasts 45 minutes with multiple choice questions and results are announced once you finish the test.

If you pass, you can proceed to the next step. If you fail, you have to attend a few classes again.

Now there are two things. One, if you have a valid DL from another country, you can apply for a direct road test. You will be given a test date and one chance. If you pass, you obtain a driving license. If you fail, you have to learn driving from the beginning. Which means you start fresh and spend a lot of money. The second one is, those who don't have a DL and don't know driving, will enroll and learn practical lessons from basics after their theory test.

Remember that if you fail that one chance road test, you have to learn from basics. Now this basic includes parking, reverse parking, bridge, learning how to drive etc. And there is a test for each part. You have a parking test which you need to pass, then a bridge test and then finally the road test. You get three chances. 

Now I had an Indian DL, so after my theory test, which I passed in the first attempt (37/45) where 36 is pass mark, I applied for a direct road test (one chance). The test date is usually given after one month. If you are lucky, you might get it earlier. So you have plenty of time to practice driving before the test. You need to contact a driving instructor, available in plenty. They are usually parked outside the driving company. You can take lessons from them, just to get a feel of driving on the road and familiarising yourself with the rules. 

I feel it is mandatory that you learn driving from an instructor because you don't want to ruin that one chance. Usually you pay upto 60-70 AED for an hour's driving. I took two hours of driving everyday for one week. They take you on the same roads where the test will be usually given. Roundabouts are galore here. Learn all the rules and practice as much as you can. This is your preparation for the final test.

On the day of the road test, arrive early at the driving company, take a token and get yourself registered. Make sure you carry your test paper. You will be marked on this paper. A bus will be allotted where you will be seated with 20-30 other applicants. The police inspector will call your names and do a final check and then you are ready to go. A car will go in front of the bus, where one by one, you will be called to give the test. 

When your turn comes, be confident. The car will be parked on the side of the road with engine running. There will be two inspectors in the car, front and rear. Sit, adjust seat, check rear mirror, adjust if necessary. You have to hold it in such a way that your fingers don't touch mirror (the driving instructor will tell you about this). Wear seatbelt. Put first gear, release handbrake, turn indicator on and go. Drive confidently. Most importantly, keep checking the rear mirrors. The inspector in the rear is placed just to see if you are checking all three mirrors. 

One chance. I passed in my first attempt. Driving confidently is the key. Follow the rules, use indicators, use the lane rules properly and you are sure to pass. Results will be marked immediately. If you pass, you can take the paper to the police station and get your license. Of course I was nervous, but I was humming Eminem's 'Lose Yourself' song in my head. For some motivation!

Don't get disheartened if you fail. You will have to go back and learn from the beginning. There will be a pre evaluation test and then you will be given practical lessons. The only drawback is that it is time consuming and you have to wait months and pass several other tests (parking and bridge) before the final road test date is announced. Don't give up. Just keep trying. If I could do it, so can you. 

After getting your license, be sure to drive safe. You have to be very careful for the first six months. Accidents will get you black points and they may lead to your DL being cancelled. So, be patient while you drive and be safe. 

Good Luck to all waiting for the road test.

An absolute crap entry

Here we go again, I think of a topic to write, I think of it for days, 'Oh, that's a wonderful thing to blog about, I should type it down as soon as possible'. Then when I sit down to type, I'm like.... 'No'. 'That's a boring thing to write, does not make sense. It's not that appealing'. And there you go. You get this boring entry of me trying to make sense out of nothing. 

The hormones in my brain are causing my mood to change rapidly. One minute, I am like, 'Oh God, wow!!!' and the next minute, 'yawn'. 

Sometimes I hate people around me. I hate voices. I want silence. Sometimes I want people around me. But that 'want' does not last long. Unpredictable. 

One minute, I am reading a book and things are getting interesting. Then just like that, things get boring. I am pretty sure it's not the book's fault.

Put on a movie to watch, stop it after a few minutes.

I want to eat a juicy Mc Donalds burger with fries and coke. On the way to buy it but stop halfway because I don't crave for it anymore.

I was listening to the playlist on my mobile the other day and thinking, 'I have such crappy songs saved'. Listen to it the next night, I get goosebumps because I'm loving the music.

I want to so write this blog, but I so want to delete this entry.

My blood group is Procrastination Positive.

I'm so excited to do things tomorrow. When tomorrow comes, I know another tomorrow will come. The brain is a scumbag, but yet an amazing thing. 

I am sad that I cannot touch my toes without bending my knees. This worries me a lot. It is my biggest worry in the world as of now. It will change in two minutes, I'm sure.

*After being idle for 3 minutes*

My biggest worry now is to get the charger for this laptop, because the battery is 8%. The charger is in another room. Did I tell you I am also lazy.

In a way it is good. Because I can stop typing, and publish this. Why do I even bother to blog? Voice in head says, "To keep track of your progress". Another voice in head says, "When you're 80 years old with no teeth and all alone, you can read this blog and sob/laugh at the pathetic/fantastic life you had".

WORRY UPDATE:

I seriously don't want to live up to eighty. Forty is ideal.

Secret Message for You

I wrote a secret message. But due to alignment problems, posted it as a pic here, anyway, the message is clear. Read it and see if you can find the hidden philosophy. I've given the clue out already!

If you still haven't figured it out, read all the first words from each line. Alignment was the clue.

We all need a fast forward remote control for life

Impatience is not a virtue. When was the last time you waited for something? And started to get impatient? that annoying stationary period starting to get on your nerves, driving you up the wall. 

Perhaps the most common waiting period which brings frustration upon us is when the waiter does not bring the food you ordered on time. Hunger combined with waiting can yield damaging results. Another common one is traffic jam. When I was a kid, I used to wonder when they would invent flying cars, so you could just happily hover over other cars. Then I learnt about helicopters. Apparently you need to be super rich to own one. 

Recently, I found myself in situations where all I did was wait. Half my life, I've wasted sleeping, and for the other half, waiting has contributed generously to my wonderful life of nothing. Here are some dreadful waiting periods I've encountered in life (still am).

Waiting for the lift with several other people. (Don't know if the problem is the lift or the people)

Pick a token and wait until you are called to the counter. And you just realise there are 50 more tickets before you're called.

Have a bad fever, came to see doctor and you are made to wait in a room full of coughing and sneezing fellow patients. Each patient seems to take an hour, but when your chance comes, the doctor diagnoses and prescribes in 5 minutes.

Waiting for youtube videos to buffer. 

The long wait to board an aircraft after check-in. (Applicable if travelling alone)

That 30 second wait after you switch on Aquaguard and wait for the light to turn green.

Back in school, waiting for that class to get over. Snails move faster than the hands on the clock.

Remember waiting for the audio cassette to rewind on your stereo set?

Oh and the microwave minute, legend has it that it is longer than a clock minute.

Those bloody TV commercials.

Waiting for public transport when the weather is too hot, and you need to pee badly.

The jack ass friend who never turns up on time.

Waiting in queue at an ATM.

Just pray that you have no business in any Indian Government offices. If you have a case in the court, then God bless you.

"The number you are trying to reach is currently busy, please try again later".

Last but not the least, waiting for a miracle to happen, no one makes you wait like God.

No Moon Day - Short Story #10

Sometimes, the divine is more scarier than the evil.

I grew up in a rural village with a population of over 130 residents. Our village is agriculture centric with plenty of rice fields. Most of us are farmers who worked in the field all day long. Basically our village consisted of several thatched roof houses that had cow sheds on the courtyard. Dairy farming was also one of our livelihood. Goats and cows roamed in the fields all day. My father owned an acre of rice farm and we had around seven cows that produced litres of milk. Every morning at 4:30, my father would start milking the cows and be done with it by 6am. He would then set off on his moped with two big tin containers of milk to sell it in the town market which was roughly 20 Kms away from our village. This was repeated again in the evening. We had a few labourers to look after the work in the field as well.

The village school was where I spent most of my time. I aspired to become very successful in life and move to a city as was the dream of every kid in the village. But I knew that for ambitions to become real, one had to work hard. And today my efforts have paid off. I live in a cosmopolitan city and I work as a civil engineer in a construction company.

One important thing I have to mention about my village is the Devi temple. Legend has it that Devi, the Goddess, is the guardian of our village who manifested herself generations ago to protect the village from an evil spirit that brought misery to its residents. The story has been passed over from my ancestors. It goes like this, children of the village were dying under mysterious circumstances. First it was shoved away as an unfortunate event. But then more children began to die of fever and strangely the young cattle, calves and kids began to die too. No one knew what was the cause of this fever that would not abate to any local medicines. Then the wells started drying up and the crops began to wither. The village heads, on consulting the local astrologer, found out that an evil spirit had found refuge in the village and was causing the people to suffer anguish.

This went on for sometime and no amount of rituals and prayers by the villagers helped improve the situation. One day, a saint who was on a pilgrimage stopped by the village to rest. When the villagers came running to him and asked for solace, the saint who was moved by their request, invoked the aid of the Almighty and mediated. He recited various hyms and mantras for days. He ate no food nor drank a drop of water. It seems that he meditated from a full moon day to a no moon day, a fortnight. When he opened his eyes on the 14th day, the villagers anxiously waited for his response. He requested the villagers to search the nearby forest for the biggest boulder they could find and bring it back to the village. By afternoon, a few men transported a 5 foot boulder the size of two men combined. The saint asked it to be placed in the centre of a barren field. He advised the villagers that a guardian would come to save them all. He laid down a few conditions as well. Starting the same day, every no moon day after 8pm, when the sun has completely set, no one will dare step outside from their houses. Every resident regardless of age had to lock themselves inside their house, no travelling, no peeking from windows, nothing until the crack of dawn. The villagers readily agreed and asked for the saint's blessings. 

That same day, after sunset, the last thing the villagers saw was the saint meditating near the boulder that was set up on the field. He had marked it with yellow turmeric powder. All the villagers had tucked themselves in their houses before 8. Back in those days, there was no electricity and all the lamps had been doused. A blanket of darkness spread across the village. All of a sudden, from nowhere there was lightning and thunder, a huge storm picked up and howled over the village making a shrill noise. It went on for a while, then everything became dead silent. The cattle, or what was left of them became restless and made noises. Still no one dared to step outside. Then they heard it. Footsteps. Someone walking, it was that of a female as the footsteps were accompanied by jingles of small bells. As if someone was wearing anklets on their heels. Frightened yet amazed the villagers prayed for change. The next day, they were in for a huge surprise.

The saint was nowhere to be seen, a huge crack was found on the boulder. On further examination, the loose parts of the boulder cracked up to reveal a figurine. It was a female form. Convinced that it was the act of a supreme force, people were overjoyed. The lightning that had struck on the boulder was a deliberate act from God himself. A sculptor was called who carved a beautiful statue out of it and a sanctum sanctorum was built around it.  Thus, the shrine of Devi came into being.

It rained continuously for days, filling up all the wells. New crops grew and thankfully, the mysterious deaths ceased. Even today, on no moon day, the rule is followed. It has been passed over from the previous generations. It is the day, the Goddess herself appears and walks around the village warding off evil spirits. Anyone who refused to stay in and wandered off would only invite her wrath. 

One could ask why should we be afraid of a good force. Why fear God? But in various hindu scriptures, if you see, you will realize that a lot of Gods and Goddesses are ferocious in nature and they take an avatar of extreme fierceness to overpower evil which in nature is again vicious. The God is then calmed down and brought to a state of tranquility through various rituals and prayers performed by holy men.

I myself have heard footsteps accompanied with the sound of small bells. I would be dead scared, at the same time a sense of security would fall over me. But till date I am unable to figure out, whether this whole footstep sound is psychological. I basically grew up with the story. For all you know, it might be the sound of the bells tied on the necks of the cattle. But I never wanted to question it. I never wanted to be the idiot rebel and I respected the holy traditions of my village. Various rumours have been cooked up over the ages. That people who have disobeyed and stepped out have only met death on facing the Goddess. In fact, my grandfather, who passed away once told me about his friend who got drunk on one no moon day and purposely wandered off to check for himself if the whole story was true. The next day they found his body by the river bank. There were no eyes in the socket. No blood, no gore. Can you imagine, no eyes in the socket, just hollow space. I have no proof to validate the stories. They might have been fabricated to scare the youngsters of the village. 

Coming to the main part of the story, when I was fifteen, I had my cousin visit us from the city. Schools were closed for vacation and my cousin who was the same age as mine came to live the village life. Unlike his parents who were well mannered, he was a brat. He was spoilt to the core and the village was his playground as city life restrictions were invalid here. He would pull the tails of cows, make mud pies and throw them in the well, steal eggs from the coops, pelt stones at chickens and act like a good boy in front of his parents. He would make fun of my dressing style and show off in front of my friends. He always argued and sought importance in any game we played and would keep hitting the younger kids. Me, being shy, I was powerless and moreover as a child, you are taught to give importance to guests. But Sharan, my cousin was uncontrollable. I usually stood there watching how can a human be so restless. 

Sharan knew well of the village tradition. He would listen in amazement to the story of Devi and repeatedly keep asking questions of How and Why. He would visit the temple and ask the priest for his version of the story. He would scare little kids, pretending to be the Goddess himself and run after them. Then came the day. The day that changed everything. It was a No Moon day and my parents along with Sharan's had to go to the nearby city for a wedding. They weren't supposed to be back until the next day. I never had the slightest idea of what Sharan was planning to do. To me it was another normal day as I was so used to the tradition. I mean how difficult is it to stay indoors after eight for one night? But destiny had other plans. My parents left, casually asking me to secure the doors before eight. Since this was a regular practice, no one made a big deal out of it. But Sharan was hiding his excitement. I failed to recognize that. I was alone with Sharan and dinner was long over, we were preparing to go to bed.

That night, at around quarter to eight, I had locked all doors and I could see houses turning off their lights as I was about to shut windows. The curfew had been set. As I was about to switch off lights, Sharan stood there with a huge grin, his hands akimbo. The minute I turned off the lights, everything became dark. Then I heard Sharan say, "Do you know what I am going to do now?". With a sense of panic, I feared I was about to hear the worst. "I am going to investigate! I am Sherlock Holmes and you shall be Dr. Watson. Let's go and see if the story of Devi is true". I refused. I told him calmly that to disrespect the tradition is to disrespect the Goddess herself and asked him to be wise. Sharan scoffed at me and said that I was immature and silly. "Do you know why they made up this story? So that the elders can go out, gamble and get drunk without their wives knowing. Don't be so naive, you are such a simpleton". I could feel my heart thumping, I realised Sharan was not joking about going outside and I was convinced he would do it. I swallowed my pride and begged him not to go. That was when I realised, deep inside, I somehow believed the legend. I believed in the Goddess. I believed she actually walked around the village guarding it. However irrational it might sound, I believed in it.

It was dark and my eyes were adjusting to the environment around me. I could see Sharan standing near the door reaching for the locks. I heard him open the latch. I was paralysed with fear. My head went heavy and I could not move. I heard myself whispering in the quietness of the whole village, "Sharannnnn, Noooo". It was too late, I heard him giggle and he had already crossed the bamboo gate that lay in front of my house. I heard the gate swish and Sharan was gone.

Even today, I get goosebumps when I think of that moment, when I crumbled to the ground as I closed the door, my heart leaping off my chest, I could not comprehend what had just happened. Everything was fine, until Sharan made that decision. Why would he? It never occurred to me that he was this playful. I could have been extra careful if I had known. Numerous thoughts started to come to my head. I was scared something might happen to him, I was afraid that the tradition was broken. What would happen now? What would my parents say? what answer would I give to Sharan's parents. Not knowing the answers to these questions raised my fears and I felt a warm tear roll down my cheek. Then one more. Before I knew I was sobbing. Then I prayed. I prayed to Devi. I prayed for forgiveness. I prayed for mercy. If there was something called praying your heart out, this was it. Never had I wanted something so much in life. I prayed repeatedly for his safety and mercy chanting a mantra that was meant for the Goddess. 

When I woke up, I realised that there was daylight around me. It took me only seconds to hit reality. I immediately looked around, I had lay asleep on the floor near the door, covered in a blanket. On the cot was Sharan, fast asleep. The joy I felt inside could not be expressed. I woke him up immediately. He looked at me and first turned to the other side to sleep. But then woke up with a start. He started laughing. He called me a fool, followed by some names. He now stood up on the cot and started to jump wrapping the blanket around him. "You villagers are fools. Dumb nitwits. Devi it seems. I saw nothing yesterday. You and your fake Goddess. You have been living a lie. I can't believe you people still heed to such superstitions". I felt infuriated because he had insulted something I believed in. I kept quiet. I warned him that I would tell the parents about what he did. Suddenly Sharan started shaking all over. "Boo, yessss, I am sooo scareddd now.... Brrrr". He laughed like a donkey braying.

That same day, he was off roaming in the village. He teased me immensely. It got very irritating. "Someone is a scaredy cat, someone is a pussy cat". He would imitate in a female voice, "Boooo, I am Devi, worship me now, you stupid slaves". When my parents returned, I did not breathe a word about this. To be honest, I was scared of the consequences I had to deal with if they ever came to know. Sharan would mellow down and glance at me, I think he was a little afraid of the fact that I would complain. Maybe he felt that in the presence of his parents. 

The next day, the trio left. Sharan hit me hard on the back and laughed as if he had achieved something great. I was just happy he was leaving. They bid goodbye and left early in the morning by bus. Two days later, we received a bad news. It jolted my whole body. Sharan had encountered a bad accident. He was on his way to the market on his father's motorcycle. He got involved in a head on head collision with a lorry on the highway. The news was so terrible. I heard my father sobbing uncontrollably as he was relaying the news to us. The one sentence that he said, still lingers in my mind, "They had to scrape his body pieces off the highway".

Even today, no one apart from me knows what happened that night. I never told anyone, never had the guts to do so. I refuse to find a connection between the incident and his death, but again every cell in my body wants to believe in punishment. But why so harsh? Sometimes, I think what kind of a person would have Sharan grown up to become? I remember the words of my grandfather. "Nothing is hidden from her, she is the protector, she is the guardian, she knows your future, she knows your past, disrespecting her will only bring doom upon you". 

I don't know what to believe and what not to. I moved out from my village one year after the incident to join high school in the city. From there I moved to another city and I've been hopping ever since. I still visit my village, my parents live there. The tradition is still on. People still claim they hear footsteps on No Moon nights, slow footsteps with the sound of bells. She guards her village and somewhere deep inside, I believe that.

Bacha Bazi

"They do not understand the concept of rape, for them it's just sex." 

The term child abuse only started to appear in medical literature around the early 60's. Until then there was absolutely nothing to conceptualise this practice. Child abuse dates back a long way. In ancient Greece, pederasty (homosexual relationship with adult male and pubescent male) existed in the upper class circles. It was perfectly normal for a man to desire young boys in Ancient Rome. In 20th century China, young male prostitues were costlier than adult female ones. The practice of 'shudo' (the way of the young) in Japan was prevalent in the religious community, amongst samurais and was banned in the 19th century. 

The Sambia tribe of Papua New Guinea believe that in order for the young male to achieve sexual maturation, they need to fellate and ingest the semen of their elders. Yes. Disturbing indeed. But all these facts bring us to the main part of this blog entry, Bacha Bazi which literally means 'Boy Play' in Persian, also a prospering business in Afghanistan. 

When Canadian soldiers were serving in Afghanistan, some of them claimed that Afghan soldiers and interpreters were sexually molesting young boys. On their return home, many soldiers had counselling sessions where they revealed that they were guilty of not stopping these terrible incidents. Many were diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In fact, Canadian soldiers were asked by their superiors to ignore the incidents. An investigation was set up by the Canadian Military which until now has not resolved the situation. 

These young boys are dressed in flowing robes, made to wear makeup, lipstick and perfumes and are groomed as a girl, made to dance and entertain the adult purely for fun. In reality, this is sexual slavery. Many Afghanis have a young boy of their own and consider this to be a status symbol. The book 'The Kite Runner' actually talks about this where the protagonist goes in search of his friend's son who was forced into becoming a dancing boy for one Talibani official.

Photo by Barat Batoor

Photo by Lorraine Venberg

Photo by Martin von Krogh

Photo by Martin von Krogh

Photo by Martin von Krogh

Photo by Martin von Krogh

Photo by Martin von Krogh

Photo by Martin von Krogh

The sad part is that these boys are sodomised and tortured sometimes leading to death. It bothers me a lot to realize that such people do exist on earth who find pleasure in humiliating and hurting someone else. The young boys are traumatised at such an early age for the sake of earning money for their family. Hell is right here on earth. Many wealthy businessmen and powerful politicians are involved in this and there is nothing being done about it. The Afghan police and military itself is involved. So who's going to stop this? When you have power, you can do what you want, right? 

Why is this happening? In my opinion, to be very frank, these people who see women covered from head to toe, conceal them from society and can't afford a marriage are lecherous perverts who use these boys as an excuse for their desire. What's worse? the US has been aiding a land of pedos. No offence to the good ones. There is also a documentary titled 'The Dancing Boys of Afghanistan' by a journalist Najibullah Quraishi which I recommend you to watch if you want to learn more on what exactly is happening with these boys. May God save us all. If there is one.